Once again, I shared our Milk Sharing Project on a mommy page, and I was called a hero. I guess the recognition feels good, but it's always annoying that the credit goes to me in our milk sharing relationship. As if I'm some superhero for a blessing God gave me. As if this was something I worked hard for, when in reality, it just fell in my lap. I share my milk, big deal. The credit really goes to you.
I sit at home and once in a while you will cross my mind and I will grab my pump. I eat a box of oreos, while netflixing, and get super excited about my pumping session. I add to my notepad how many ounces I've now pumped to donate, and I stick it in the freezer. That's about it. That's my side of it. But then I go to your house to deliver it, and I see your side of it.I see the empty cooler from the milk bank opened up and now empty. I see the sadness on your face when you tell me the bank keeps running out of milk. I see you nurse your baby, but unable to fill him up. I see the pain in your heart. I see you go to the freezer, pull out bags of other people's milk, and thaw it out for your son. I see the guilt. I see the jealousy. I see the entirely too long of process to get it to room temperature, so that he will happily drink it. I see your exhaustion and annoyance. I see you pump after nursing to keep your supply going. I see your dedication. I see how much time you spend on this. I see you run out of donor milk and have to make formula. I see your disappointment. I see your frustration.
It's not fair. I feel like your bank of good karma screwed you. If anyone deserves to breastfeed their baby it's you! The one who encourages and educates women all day long on breastfeeding. The one with a big nursing mother bumper sticker on her car. The one who is passionate about mother hood. The one who read every book, took every class. The one who knows the female anatomy better than some doctors, and yet had to come to terms that something failed along the way with hers. The one who stood by my side in my nursing journey. But you and I both know the reason for all of this. We already came to grips with fate. We know that we were soul sisters who were meant to raise their families together. It's just about balance. It's about breaking stigmas, educating, and reaching out. But it's still undeniably frustrating.
This is why when someone sticks the hero card on my face I just want to scream. I want to take video of your day and play it on a billboard for everyone to see. I want them to see the woman I look up to the most. The mom who sacrifices so much for her babies. You sacrifice your time and convenience to make sure that Elliott gets the most healthy breast milk possible, because his health and your passions are your priority. You balance so much in your life...work, school, social life, parenting, educating, [also, a freakishly clean house] and yet you find time in your day to make sure you are supporting the milk bank that gives to you, reaching out to breast feeding moms that are struggling, all while staying humble and grateful. I wish you could see what I see. Better yet, I wish you could see what your kids see. I just did what anyone who saw a hungry baby would do. But you did so much more than ever expected of you to do in the challenges that you faced. You never gave up. You never settled. And you advocated for your son. You are the hero. And I love you. Thank you for sharing this milk journey with me. Over 400 oz I was able to give my 3rd favorite little boy. Thank you for accepting that milk, and for never making me feel like I didn't do enough. This has been one of my favorite parts of our friendship.Love,
Your Milk Sister.
